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Thursday, November 24, 2011

The Need For Greed

I probably shouldn't be writing this but it is something that has really been getting to me the past 2 months. For the past 2 years the only time an "old friend" wants to reconnect is for 4 reasons which are they started an organization, business, ministry or they want to correct my spiritual faith and beliefs. I love reconnecting with friends and have the opportunity to see pictures of their families. We are military and never in one place long enough to say our kids will grow up together. I understand we all have lives and are busy. I too am quite busy. I have 5 kids, military spouse, and home school them all. Plus I make all of our food at home from scratch and do natural health consults. So I get the whole I have a life thing so do I, but it really irks me the wrong way when I haven't even heard from someone unless they think they will gain something like money or my business.

In the past 6 months I have gotten several emails, and message from friends in past churches, and cities we have lived in. One actually asked how me and my husband were doing. At first I thought wow this is so nice Kasey and I haven't talked to them in so long. Then not even 5 minutes into the chat they start telling me about a new ministry and if I would like to bless his ministry...Whoa wait I thought you were genuinely concerned about us. Now you are asking for money from us. I had mentioned that I would let my husband know about the ministry. (He is the head not me). He said yeah and where are you guys at now. I said Missouri and this person began asking when he commissions as an officer. It immediately got me thinking has he not seen any of my posts for the past year and a half, or my pictures. My husband commissioned to be an officer over a year ago.

It saddened me. As I spoke to Kasey later that night and informed him about our chat. He was very displeased. How can someone that you have bent over backwards for do that to you? I am always thinking about being content with what we are given (Hebrews 13:5). Where did this whole selfish thing come into play. I am finding more and more that I am not liking selfish people. Maybe it's because I would give a widowed mom my last bit of food to feed her kids. Maybe it's because I would house a girl that is pregnant or in a domestic violence situation. When did this need for greed come about? Maybe it's because I wasn't raised this way. Maybe it's because we don't instill these things into our kids. We very rarely have cupboards stocked up with food, but I do always have a house full of joyful kids. Not just my own but the neighbors, my nieces and nephews and our friends.

I guess for now I won't understand since I want to be the simple country gal and live off of our own land. So today I say show the people you love them, hug your sons and daughters and instead of sending me or your friends messages about your new ministry, business, or organization bless someone by paying it forward. Buy a bag of groceries for a family.


Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Keeping It Together

I have to admit I am a bit on the mushy side but that is when my blog posts tend to be the best. I have been watching Army Wives for the past 2 days and I have cried on almost every episode. There is something about the Army and that show. There is something that makes those friendships so much more. One of the girls said "We have to keep it together", but it is the hardest thing to even think to do.

As grateful as I am right now that my husband gets to be home most nights with us it's hard to even think about. It's been a few years since our last deployment it's heartbreaking to even think about the next one. I ask myself can I do it again. We have 5 kids now and they are older. I was able to hide it most nights the tears that would roll down my cheeks just thinking of his boots laying on the floor. I ask myself "Can I do it again?". I wonder if I can keep it together like before. I now have to be the role model to several moms, mothers, sisters and wives, but can I do it. I know what I signed up for. I know what my role entails as an officer's wife and honestly I love the military life.

I know just like every Army wife and military wife for that matter knows that at any time we could get that knock at the door. At any moment we could get the call saying our love isn't coming home alive. At any given moment we could have to tell our kids that daddy or mommy will never be back. At any given moment our lives could be completely changed and by choice that is what the crazy thing is. It's just a matter of time before we question how much we can keep it together. I watch the series of these women's lives play out and I can recall me in every position.

It's amazing how strong we can be when being strong is all we have. I try to put myself in that position. What would I say? How would I handle it? What will our lives be like? It's never ending since orders can come up for a deployment at any time. I know our lives come next to the military and I love our lives. Am I crazy for thinking that I wouldn't want any other life? Is it crazy to think that although I miss my husband dearly I wouldn't trade our lives for anything. So despite the many sleepless nights wondering if my husband is safe, or if he will be home to make dinner. Wondering how will I get through another day or even another deployment. The truth is no matter what I will have to keep it together, but not just for me and my kids. I will have to keep it together for my soldier. I will have to keep it together so he can keep it together on his missions, training and deployments. No matter how hard it is we always find peace in our father and know that he is always on our side. We may not feel it but he carries us through every situation to keep it together even when we think that we aren't.